Redeeming the Past
by Emeralda2
Summary: As the Order prepares to fight Voldemort’s second coming, Sirius Black is forced to confront his past when Aurora Walsh walks into Grimmauld Place. Through shared memories and heartaches, they try to find some common ground and, perhaps, redeem the past
1. Return to the Past

Chapter 1  
  
She tossed it onto the kitchen table as if it was going to bite her. A casual observer would hardly be able to understand why a piece of paper would alarm a thirty-three year old woman. But Aurora Walsh was no ordinary woman. And the piece of paper was a piece of parchment that forced her to remember the life and past she left behind fifteen years ago.  
  
Aurora held her head in her hands and stared at the parchment. The sight of the owl at her window was enough to make her heart start beating fast. When she realized it was indeed an owl post, she nearly lost it. After all these years, why? After all this rebuilding, who would walk in and bring back the worst parts of her life? It seemed as though it took her hours to finally pick up the letter and read it more thoroughly. With her hands trembling, she opened the letter, noticing the red seal of her alma mater.  
  
Dear Ms. Walsh,  
  
I realize that quite a few years have passed since I have had the pleasure of speaking with you. I know that you cut yourself off from our world many years ago. However, I do believe that it is important that you know the current state of the Ministry and our world. Aurora, I know it still hurts and I mean to cause you no pain, but it is imperative that I meet with you. If you are inclined to meet with me, then please apparate to Number 12, Grimmauld Place at 7:00 p.m. this Saturday. If you choose not to come, then never mention this address to anyone and destroy this letter. Please give it some thought. I hope all is well with you.  
  
Sincerely,  
Prof. Albus Dumbledore  
  
What do I do? What do I do? A small part of Aurora's mind told her that she should forget it and pretend that this letter never happened. She couldn't do that, though. She owed him the favor of meeting with him. Two days, she thought, two days till I face my demons from the past.  
  
********************************************************  
  
Saturday afternoon found Aurora digging through boxes in the back of her closet. Her trendy London flat was great for being close to work but it left her little room for storage. She was afraid to rent a storage facility for fear that someone might break in and learn her secret. So, she stored all the pieces of her past in the back of her bedroom closet. As she rifled through the cardboard containers, she purposefully ignored the things that beckoned to her the most. The envelopes of pictures, the diaries, and birthday cards sent to her in happier times would only serve to remind her of the things she had hidden from for fifteen years.  
  
Pulling out an old set of robes, she dusted them off to see if they needed washing or not. Finally, she realized that this would have to be one of the few times she relented against her promise to her self. She walked to her dresser and pulled out a long thin object and pointed it at the robes. After a few whispered words, they hung clean and pressed, looking as if they were new.  
  
She stepped into the shower and tried to let the hot water sooth her nerves. Automatically, she went about bathing and tried to block out the thoughts of where she was returning. This will set me back about two years of self-prescribed therapy, Aurora mumbled under her breath. She lathered her rose scented shampoo into her long curls and rinsed out the suds. I really should get it cut, she pondered. She rarely wore it down these days. Too old for this long hair, who am I kidding, Aurora thought.  
  
Her long wheat colored ringlets had been her trademark all those years ago. The shiny blond curls attracted attention from so many people. Even now on the few times she left it down to go to the office, she garnered compliments on her hair. Her hairdresser had actually refused to cut it the one time she gathered enough courage to ask for its length to be cut. As she stepped from the shower, she grabbed a fluffy white towel and began to ring the water out of her hair. She dressed in her robes for the first time since she walked out of the Ministry's office and swore she was leaving. Realizing that she only had ten minutes before she had to apparate, she grabbed her wand and muttered a few grooming spells. Instantly, she appeared in the mirror with shiny dry curls and just a hint of makeup. Oh well, she thought, in for a penny, in for a pound. Why not break all my rules?  
  
She closed her eyes and prepared to return to what she had tried so hard to leave behind. As she concentrated on apparating correctly, a memory flashed before her eyes. A memory of an eleven year old girl, boarding a train and heading off to a universe that would become her home until she abandoned it a few years later.  
  
**********************************  
  
Aurora walked up to the doorknocker with an eerie feeling of déjà vu`. Had she been here before? Why did it seem so familiar? Banging on the door three times, she waited for someone to answer the door. As she debated running away, the heavy door creaked open as a young boy looked at her bewilderedly.  
  
"Hullo," she greeted him. "I'm Aurora Walsh. I was supposed to meet with Professor Dumbledore at seven."  
  
"Oh, sorry 'bout that," he smiled. "I forgot. I'm Harry by the way, Harry Potter." And in that instant it clicked. She saw the eyes and the messy hair and her heart constricted in her chest. His hair flicked to the side and showed the infamous scar. The scar that changed so many lives.  
  
Harry frowned slightly as he watched her stare at his forehead. How he hated it when people did that! He waved his hand in front of eyes and she blinked quickly.  
  
"Before you ask, that's my scar. Yes, he did it. No, I don't understand why I lived and my mum and dad didn't," he mouthed off. "Any other thoughts I can answer for you?"  
  
"Only how you came to look so much like your father," Aurora whispered. "Or how Lily's eyes could have been so perfectly recreated on another human being."  
  
Harry blanched at her mention of his parents. "You knew my parents?" Aurora nodded to him, unable to fund her voice. "When?"  
  
"At Hogwarts," she replied softly. "We-," she began before a silver haired man walked into the room and caused her to pause.  
  
"Were the best of friends," Albus Dumbledore finished for her. "Harry, I know you may have had your curiosity peaked, but I need to speak to Miss Walsh alone." Harry nodded and left the room. Aurora turned and attempted a smile to her former headmaster. "Hello Aurora, you are looking well."  
  
"It's nice to see you again, Prof. Dumbledore," she responded with a sad smile. "It's been a while."  
  
"Fifteen years in fact," the old wizard stated. "Long enough for some scars to have faded, Aurora. Long enough for you to rejoin our world."  
  
"Why?" she nearly yelled. "I left for a reason. I left because it was what was best for me."  
  
"You left because you were afraid," Prof. Dumbledore said quietly. "We need you, Aurora. He has returned. And you owe it to so many people."  
  
"Like who?" she cried. "Do I owe it to those that betrayed my trust? All the muggles get to sleep at night without a worry in their head. I want to be them. I don't want to look to come back."  
  
"Would you really be happy in blissful ignorance?" Dumbledore asked her.  
  
"It has worked so far. For fifteen years, it has gotten me through life," she answered him. "What more can I ask for?"  
  
"A true life," he replied. "It is time for you to start living again, Aurora, rather than simply existing."  
  
"I don't want a happy life, I want peace," she began. "I tried the happiness route, I can remember where that got me."  
  
"And I guess that was all my fault," a third voice asked. "So convenient to blame your misery on my, isn't it, Aurora?" As recognition swept over her, she slowly turned to face the biggest ghost in her past. She began to shake as her mind finally realized that he the person standing before her was not a dream.  
  
"Sirius," she whispered.  
  
"The one and only," he snarled.  
  
"What are you doing here?" she said as her voice broke. "Professor Dumbledore, why? What is going on? This is not happening." She swayed for a second as she tried to compose herself.  
  
"Sirius, help me get her into a chair," the headmaster gently requested.  
  
"Why should I?" he barked. "She turned her back on me, why in Merlin's beard should I care about her? Let her hit the floor. Then maybe she will know what it was like all those nights I slept on a cold stone floor in Azkaban."  
  
Something in his cold words unleashed a fury in Aurora. She straightened up and raced across the room and stared in disgust at the dark haired wizard from her past.  
  
"You bloody jerk, you deserve that cold stone floor," she screamed. "You killed them, James and Lily. And then Peter, poor defenseless Peter. I don't understand what is going on here. This is a nightmare. What hasn't he been turned in, Professor Dumbledore?"  
  
"Because he is innocent," Harry stated matter of factly. "He didn't do it." Aurora turned to find the teenager standing in the doorway. "He didn't do it," Harry repeated. "And above everyone, I should care the most about that shouldn't I?"  
  
"Harry, I," she began, "What is going on here?" Turning to Dumbledore she asked, "What is everyone talking about? I have to sit down, I.I feel weak," she stammered. Dumbledore conjured a small squishy sofa and guided Aurora over to it to sit down.  
  
"Aurora, I know that this must all be a shock to you," Dumbledore said quietly. "There is so much for you to know. We need you back, Aurora. Voldemort has returned." Aurora sat there in a state of disbelief. Before her stood all that she had escaped from fifteen years ago. Sirius couldn't look at her. Dumbledore kindly laid his hand on her arm and gave her a small smile. "You aren't a muggle, no matter how much you would like to be."  
  
"I need time," she replied. "I don't know what is going on. May I lie down somewhere, Professor?"  
  
"Certainly, my dear," he told her as he rose from the couch. "Harry, would you please take Ms. Walsh to a room upstairs where she might have a lie down?" Harry smiled at her and directed her to follow him upstairs. Aurora drew herself up off the chair and followed the gangly young man. Even with his recent growth spurt, Aurora was still taller than Harry.  
  
"Are you feeling okay Miss Walsh?" Harry asked.  
  
"Call me Aurora. I hate being called Miss Walsh," she told him. "You look so much like your father that it is odd to hear Miss Walsh come out of your mouth. James called me many things but Miss Walsh was never one of them."  
  
"You knew my dad, didn't you?" he said, more as statement than a question. "And my mum? You had to knew Remus and Sirius too, then?"  
  
"Yes, I was at Hogwarts with all of them," Aurora evasively replied. "I was a couple of years behind them, but I knew them." Harry got the distinct feeling that she wanted nothing more than to lie down and get away from all these questions. The look in her eyes had gone all distant and misty. Women, he thought, how in the world can you ever understand them?  
  
"Well, I'll leave you be," he told her. "Mrs. Weasley will probably make dinner soon. Someone will call for everyone and you're welcome to join us." She smiled her thanks and turned to go into the room. Walking over to the bed, she plopped down and laid her head on the pillow. She closed her eyes and willed all the memories to go away. 


	2. Where it All Began

Chapter 2  
  
Many years ago....  
  
As the train whistle blew to warn everyone that it was time to leave. Sirius caught up with James and Remus. They talked excitedly about the fun they were going to have during their third year. As Sirius waived his arms about, he nearly swiped a new first year in the head.  
  
"Watch it, you stupid git," a young blond girl snapped at him. Her long curls were tied up in a ponytail. She was tall for her age but her young features gave away her first year status.  
  
"Hey hey," Sirius chided. "Be careful how you speak to one of the great Marauders."  
  
"What," Aurora asked "in Merlin's beard is a Marauder and why should I care?"  
  
"Because lil' first year, we control the mischief in the school and you don't want to be on the receiving end of any of our pranks," he teased her.  
  
"Leave her be, Padfoot," the messy haired boy interrupted. "She is just a kid."  
  
"Aww, Prongs, if I can't tease the first years, then who can I tease?" Sirius whined. "Remus, take up for a mate here?"  
  
"I agree with James," Remus kindly told his friend. "Don't want to give the new students a bad impression of Gryffindors, now do we?"  
  
Aurora rolled her eyes and made her way onto the train. She found an empty compartment and sat down, alone with her thoughts. How she hated her parents for making her to go this school! She had been tutored privately all her life since her parents were afraid to let her be at school alone in light of her father's job. Now, they suddenly thought it was okay for her to go hundreds of miles away since Dumbledore, whoever that was, could protect her. Damn that bloody owl for bringing that letter! Her silent ravings were interrupted by the entrance of the boys she met as she boarded the train.  
  
"Well, look here," the one with the jet-black hair. "If it isn't our new first year friend." Aurora replied with a scowl. "By the way, I'm Sirius Black."  
  
"Aurora Walsh," she responded. Looking towards the others, they began to introduce themselves.  
  
"James Potter," a skinny young man with glasses said with a smile.  
  
"Remus Lupin," a sandy haired young man gently said with a small bow.  
  
"Peter Pettigrew," stammered a short chubby boy with watery eyes. The boys all seated themselves in the compartment and Aurora began to relax slightly. The boys began to explain many of the aspects of Hogwarts to her, including the concept of Sorting. As they filled her in on the good parts and bad parts of life at the wizarding school, she laughed and smiled at their descriptions. A sort of instant bond was formed between them and she began, for the first time since she found out she was going away, to enjoy herself.  
  
The train lurched to a stop and the boys smiled to one another before James stood and announced that it was time to undergo another year of mischief. The boys began to depart the train, carefully leaving Aurora in the middle of them and guiding her to where the boats were docked that would bring the first-years across the lake.  
  
"We will see you during the Sorting," Remus told her. "Good luck. Hope you make it to Gryffindor." The rest of the boys waived their good- byes. As she began to climb into a boat, she heard Sirius's voice calling to her.  
  
"What, Black?" she yelled.  
  
"I said, don't fall in. There is a giant squid who lives in the lake," he informed her with a wink. "Bye, Rori!" She groaned at his choice of nickname and shook her head.  
  
"I won't Siri!" she called back to him. The boys laughed and climbed into the horseless carriages to make their way to the school. Walking into the front doors of the school, they were greeted by the sight of their transfiguration teacher, McGonnagal. A stern looking lady, they knew they had secured a special place in her heart. She would never admit it, but she loved Quidditch and as head of Gryffindor house, slightly favored the boys since Sirius and James were stars of the Quidditch team.  
  
"I trust you four will be up to your usual good behavior this year," she informed them as a small smile played at the corners of her mouth.  
  
"Oh yes, Professor," Sirius replied as the four of them ran into the great hall. As they waived hello to all their friends, they noticed Aurora standing in line with the first years and Remus gave her a wink. She smiled back and gave them a small shrug, as if you say, what next. Dumbledore stood and raised his hand to stop the excited chatter.  
  
"Welcome to another year at Hogwarts. To our new students, you shall soon be sorted into your housed by the ancient Sorting Hat," he explained. Good luck to you all and let the sorting begin." Professor McGonnagal stood and began to call the names of the first years. As each name was called, the student walked forward and sat on a stool while a tattered hat was placed on his head. After a few moments the hat would yell out the name of the house where the student was to be placed. Finally, she heard "Walsh, Aurora."  
  
Sitting on the tiny stool seemed to go on forever as the Hat pondered where to put her. "Definitely not Slytherin.much too brave for that," the Hat said to itself. "Hufflepuff.no no...I know, how about Gryffindor?" With a smile she stood up and ran to join the Gryffindor table. Sirius gave her a smile and motioned for her to come sit beside him. Remus moved over slightly to give her some room. A pretty red haired girl rolled her eyes at Sirius. "She is a little young for you isn't she, Black?"  
  
"Evans, I am hurt," he whined. "You act as if I must have a reason to be nice to a first year. Our new students, why they would be alone and friendless if not for the grace of the older students."  
  
"Besides Evans," James jumped in, "we have to raise a new generation of Marauders."  
  
"Merlin help us all then," she groaned. Turning around to face Aurora, she smiled. "Watch for that one," Lily told her pointing to Sirius, "he'll break your heart."  
  
Present time...  
  
How right she was Aurora thought. Here she was twenty-two years later and he had fulfilled that promise many years ago. The sound of a woman yelling for them to come to dinner interrupted Aurora's flashback. She rose to walk to the mirror and pull her long locks into a clip. Walking out the door, she almost bumped into a young girl with long bushy brown hair.  
  
"Excuse me," she told Aurora. "I'm Hermione, Hermione Granger. And you are?"  
  
"Aurora Walsh," she replied. "I'm here as a favor to Prof. Dumbledore."  
  
"Yes, Harry was just telling me about that earlier. Well, you must be starved," Hermione said politely. As they neared the bottom of the steps, they heard the door open and Harry's voice along with someone else's. One of the voices sounded familiar to Aurora. Suddenly, she heard someone call her name and turned to find Remus Lupin standing in the foyer.  
  
"Reems," she whispered before running over to him and grabbing him in a hug.  
  
"Aurora, it's wonderful to see you," he told her excitedly. "Aurora, there is so much that needs to be explained to you. I have to tell you about, well, Sirius. He is here, Aurora. We were wrong. You deserve to know the truth. He didn't betray James and Lily, Rori. It was Peter."  
  
"So I've heard," Aurora whispered. "I've seen him. I got here earlier. Dumbledore started to explain, but it was too much. Oh Remus, what is going on?"  
  
"It is a long story," Lupin told her. "We will explain everything I promise. How did Sirius act at seeing you?"  
  
"Not very well, I am afraid," Aurora replied.  
  
"We all have scars, Aurora," Remus responded. "Sirius has them, you have them, and Merlin knows that Harry has them. It will be okay, I promise. Now, let's go eat." They walked into the dining room where Sirius sat glaring at the table. Harry was sitting beside him trying earnestly to engage him in a conversation. A red headed lady bustled about readying dinner while two identical twin boys helped to carry everything to the table. Remus pulled out a chair beside of Sirius for Aurora and she sat down, unwilling to cause a scene. Sirius threw her a glance and turned towards Harry once again.  
  
The red haired lady stepped towards Aurora and laid a hand on her shoulder. "I'm Molly Weasley, dear. I haven't gotten to meet you yet." Aurora glanced up and saw the kindness in her eyes and smiled. "I'm Aurora," she replied. "It's very nice to meet you." Mrs. Weasley's introduction spawned a reaction as different people around the table began to introduce themselves to her, attempting to make her feel welcome.  
  
"Fred and George," one of the twins said with a smile.  
  
"Ron Weasley," a tall red haired boy beside Harry told her.  
  
"Ginny Weasley," a shy little redhead said softly. The introductions continued around the table and everyone turned to look at Sirius, who hadn't said a word.  
  
"What's everyone looking at me for?" he barked. "Trust me, Aurora and I have already met, haven't we?" With that, he stood from the table and walked out of the kitchen. Remus laid his hand on her shoulder and shook his head, a silent hint to let him be. Heat rose into Aurora's cheeks from embarrassment. Tears started to sting her eyes and she stood and thanked Molly for the meal. She walked out of the kitchen and found Sirius talking to Dumbledore. The headmaster smiled at her and motioned her to come closer to them.  
  
"I was just talking to Sirius here and we thought it would be most prudent if you stayed over night here. Then we will be able to discuss all of the details as to why you need to rejoin our world and perhaps you two can iron out some of your differences." Sirius even offered to let you have his room for tonight until one can be cleaned out for you tomorrow."  
  
"I just think it would be best if I left, Professor," Aurora stammered.  
  
"Yes, after all, running is what she does best," Sirius replied. Aurora turned to glare at him. Praying for strength, she walked towards the front door.  
  
"Stay tonight, Aurora," Dumbledore requested. "If you must leave, then it can wait till tomorrow." She nodded and began to walk upstairs. Her eyes were blinded by tears and she failed to see the step that Sirius took towards her. She failed to see the glimmer of pain that momentarily flashed over his face. A look of sadness and loneliness combined showed in his eyes.  
  
But Dumbledore stopped him from going towards her. He shook his head gently. "Let her go, Sirius. Whatever must be settled between you can wait till another day."  
  
"I don't want to talk to her," Sirius snarled.  
  
"Things change son," the elderly wizard told him with a smile. "Never rule out any possibility, Sirius." 


	3. The Room of Remembrance

Chapter 3  
  
Aurora walked to the end of the hall and opened a door. It was a door she remembered well. All the times that she snuck into this room as a teen witch washed over her. She reached out and turned the doorknob and unconsciously held her breath. She could do this.it would be okay. Opening the door, she saw his room exactly as she remembered it. Quidditch posters hanging on the walls were now yellowed with age.  
  
Photos from school with the people moving and waving madly hung on the memo board above his desk. She leaned over and examined the photographs closer. There were ones of the Marauders before and after Aurora began school at Hogwarts. A picture of Aurora and Lily at the Valentine's Ball during Aurora's fourth year made her smile. She was fourteen and Lily was sixteen. Lil had helped her pick out her clothes and get ready for the dance. How she missed Lily! It was easy to forget about her and all the rest of the people she had lost, but here, she was confronted head on with all those who were missing from her life.  
  
Photos of Aurora with James and Sirius made her laugh. They were dressed in the scarlet Gryffindor robes and the moving people in the photo kept trying to knock each other out of the picture. Broomsticks in hand, they all three looked so happy. So many memories, she thought. "We were just kids," Aurora said outloud to herself. "How did it all go so wrong?"  
  
Aurora avoided one photo in particular. Another photo from the Valentine's Ball was in a small silver frame. She picked it up took a deep breath and she ran stared at the photo in her hands. If you had asked fourteen year old Aurora what her happiest moment was, she would have described this picture. There she stood with Sirius Black, her date for the ball. His hair was flopped into his eyes and he wore the biggest smile. He had his arms wrapped around her waist and was smiling at the camera. Pure joy shone in her eyes. Aurora walked over to the bed and sat down with the photo. She couldn't help but remember the night that this photo  
  
February, 19 years ago......  
  
Aurora was muddy and gross from the three-hour practice. James kept complaining that he was saddle sore from riding his blasted broomstick for so long. Sirius just laughed as he listened to them complain about practice.  
  
"Be glad we are still all young and carefree," he teased. "Someday we will have to grow up and graduate and three hours of playing Quidditch will be a luxury and not a chore."  
  
James rolled his eyes and looked at Aurora. "Well, I am going to run off. See you guys later. Padfoot, full one tonight. Don't forget." With a wink, James ran off towards the school.  
  
"So," Sirius said as he kicked around the grass with the toe of his shoe, "going to the ball?"  
  
"I don't know," Aurora said shyly. "I'm not really into that stuff. I couldn't pick out fancy dress robes if I my life depended on it."  
  
"Lily would help you pick them out," Sirius assured her. "If you wanted to go." Aurora sat down on a grassy knoll and pulled her knees into her chest.  
  
"Dances are no fun by yourself, Siri," she laughed. "Anyway, which member of your harem is getting the honor of being your date?"  
  
"No one," he said nonchalantly. "I could take you, I mean if you wanted to go. I'd really like to take you, Aurora." Aurora's cheeks turned red, not from the cold, but from nerves.  
  
"Sure, okay," Aurora told him. "I'd like that Sirius."  
  
He smiled broadly before standing up. "Great," Sirius told her as he extended his hand to help her up. "I can't wait." Then he walked away leaving her standing there with a slight feeling of shock and awe. Had Sirius Black really just asked her out on a date? To the Valentine's Ball?  
  
Things had been kind of odd between them for a while. They had been friends for so long and she was one of the boys. Now, Sirius seemed to be pulling back a little. He was acting weird, treating her like a girl and all. Remus, James, and Peter still treated her normally. None of them would ever ask her to a dance. But deep down, her heart was still beating fast from the sweet look in his bright blue eyes as he asked her to go to the dance with him.  
  
If she were really honest with herself, Aurora would realize what was going on. She knew that things were changing because an attraction had grown between them. She remembered a time a couple of weeks ago in the common room when Siri had been tickling her. They were wrestling around and he threw her down on the couch. Pretty soon she was laughing so hard that tears were running down her face. She looked up to find Sirius leaning over her and she knew he was about to kiss her. As he leaned towards her, they heard the Fat Lady's portrait swing open to let someone into the Gryffindor tower. Quickly they straightened up as they saw Remus Lupin walk into the room.  
  
"Hey Aurora, Sirius," he said calmly, with a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. Aurora laughed at the memory of how guilty they must have looked to Remus at that moment.  
  
The memory of that dance made her smile. Sirius had gone out of his way to be charming to her. He was a perfect date. As he walked her to the tower afterwards, he was nervous as he told her goodnight. They were the only two people in the common room once again. She smiled up at him and he reached down and touched her face. Slowly he leaned forward and kissed her, sealing a new chapter to their relationship.  
  
That was the memory contained in that photo. Aurora sat there still immobile until she forced herself to put the photo away. Drowning in old photos would not get her anywhere, it never had. As she stretched and yawned, she realized that she didn't have any pajamas to sleep in. Not feeling like apparating back to London, she walked over to the dresser and pulled out a pair of men's pajamas. At least Sirius is tall enough that these will fit me, she thought. She pulled them on and curled up on the bed and prayed for dreamless sleep. 


	4. Memories Shared

Chapter 4  
  
Hours passed as Sirius lay in the bed that had been conjured in Harry's room. Ron was snoring loudly but he could tell that Harry was still awake. He waited till he could not stand it before finally speaking out loud.  
  
"Harry," Sirius began, "I know you have questions."  
  
"'Bout what?" he replied.  
  
"Her, you know Aurora," he said quietly. "I just thought that you might wonder."  
  
"I do but I don't know that it is any of my business," Harry explained.  
  
"She's really pretty," a muffled voice said from under the covers.  
  
"Yeah, you could have done a lot worse back in the day," a voice said as someone apparated into the room.  
  
"Remus, this is not a male slumber party," Sirius groaned.  
  
"What is it with you two?" Harry asked. "Why do you hate each other?"  
  
"At one time, they loved each other," Remus said quietly. Even in the dark, Harry and Ron could feel the glare that Sirius was giving Lupin.  
  
"Why on earth did you have to go and bring that up?" Sirius growled.  
  
"Because everyone is going to hear it sooner or later," he replied. "Harry should know. He keeps hearing her mention James and Lily. But you and I both know that he won't ask her. She hurt, too, Padfoot. Remember that."  
  
"Well, poor poor Aurora," Sirius said. "Pity her and she didn't even have to go to prison and live through what I did."  
  
"But she imprisoned herself," Remus told him. "She left after that day in court. She cried the whole time in the hearing. She never wanted to believe what they were saying. I remember right after you were taken away by the dementors, after you turned and looked at her, once you were through the door, she broke down. I had to help her walk out of the building. She couldn't stand on her own. She apparated back to her flat and the she was gone. We didn't know where. She never left a note. And both Dumbledore and I knew that she didn't want to be found. I should have looked for her but I didn't. I guess I was hurt and wanted to run as much as everyone else."  
  
"It's not your fault, Remus," Sirius told him.  
  
"The point is that it is no one's fault," Remus explained. "It wasn't yours, it wasn't Rori's, it wasn't mine. If it is anyone's fault it's Peter's. And Voldemort." Ron flinched at the use of the Dark Lord's name but everyone ignored his usual reaction. "We have to move on and forgive everyone. You forgave me and I believed that you were the Secret-Keeper. Why not forgive her?"  
  
Sirius remained silent, unable to explain why he couldn't let her have forgiveness. Perhaps admitting that he couldn't forgive her would force him to admit that the he had cared for her more than anyone else. "I will talk to her, Remus. I just need time. I walked into this house and found her today. I had no idea that she was going to be here. It was a shock for me, too."  
  
"She was our friend, Sirius," Lupin remarked. "We have lost so many that it might be nice to reclaim some."  
  
"Like Ron said, she is very pretty," Harry remarked. "How did you meet her?"  
  
"Hogwarts. She was two years behind us. One of the boys until I started to notice that she had those lovely blond curls and forget-me-not colored eyes. She was fourteen and I was sixteen when I made that realization. And then I couldn't get her off my mind. So, I asked her to the Valentine's dance."  
  
"And?" asked Ron who was very awake at this time. "What, I want to know? Unlike Hermione believes, I am not the most unromantic prat to ever exist."  
  
"I walked her back to the Gryffindor tower that night and as I said goodnight, I leaned down and kissed her. And that was it. We were together from that moment on. I went from Hogwarts biggest lady's man to Hogwarts most devoted boyfriend. I never regretted it, either. I always thought Aurora was so special," Sirius sighed.  
  
"She still is," Remus noted.  
  
"I always thought that things would be so different. You know, before Lily and James died, before I was arrested, when we were still young. I remember James making a comment once that we needed to enjoy the time we had to be young. I never realized how true his words were till recently," Sirius reflected. "I will talk to her, Moony. I promise."  
  
"Forgive her, Sirius, if for no other reason than to have peace amongst those of us who are left," Remus asked of his friend. Sirius nodded his assent quietly. "Excellent," Remus said as he rose to leave. "Because, you know, Harry and Ron are correct. Aurora is quite pretty." Then, with a pop, he vanished. 


	5. Morning Truce

Chapter 5  
  
The next morning Aurora stumbled down the hall to the bathroom with her eyes half closed. She didn't see Sirius standing in the door of Harry and Ron's room watching her. Wearing his pajamas that were a few sizes too big for her, she kept walking. His heart clenched for just a second. So many memories, he thought. The sight of her was still enough to make him catch his breath. Even at six a.m., with her hair fuzzy, and sleep-crusted eyes, she was beautiful. She turned and looked at him. For a moment, her eyes showed a glimmer of hope, as if she were reliving the past.  
  
"Hey," she said. "I hope you don't mind my borrowing some of your things. I hadn't planned on spending the night."  
  
"It's fine, nothing to worry about," Sirius replied. "Sleep okay?"  
  
"About as well as usual," Aurora told him. "It seemed weird to be in there without sneaking in. You know, not worrying about waking up before your mum would come in there and catch us."  
  
Sirius smiled at her for just a moment. He could remember those times that she would sneak into his room and spent the night, usually not wearing any pajamas, he remembered with a smile. She would curl up into his arms and sleep like a baby. He always complained about her long curls tickling her face. Night after night, he threatened to cut off all of her hair if she didn't start tying it back at night. The feel of her hair tickling her face was something he missed so much when he first went off to Azkaban. Almost involuntarily, he reached out and touched one of the honey colored curls.  
  
"You never cut it," he commented. She shook her head and smiled. "It's still beautiful. Your hair was always beautiful, even when you were a smart aleck eleven year old."  
  
"Can we be friends, Sirius? After all this? I can't come back and help Dumbledore and the Order if, if we can't at least be civil," Aurora told him.  
  
"We shall try," he told her. "I can't tell you it will be easy. But, I will welcome you into the Order, Aurora."  
  
"Thank you, Sirius" she said gazing at the floor.  
  
"So does this mean that you are coming back? Leaving the muggle world to come back here and work with convicts and outcasts against the Ministry?" he teased her.  
  
"I think so," Aurora whispered. "I owe it to Lily and James.because of Harry. Does he know?"  
  
"I never told him," Sirius replied. "I did not think it was in my place to tell him that he had a guardian other than myself."  
  
"When the time is right, Sirius, I will tell him," she promised. "Right now, I need to apparate to London and get some things. I can't wear your jammies forever, you know."  
  
"Do you want someone to come with you?" he asked. "Just in case, to make sure everything is safe."  
  
"No, I'll be fine," she told him. "Tell everyone I will be back this afternoon. And don't worry about me, I've been fine for fifteen years. I can handle myself."  
  
"Okay," he said with a smile. "But I still wish you'd at least take Remus with you."  
  
"I will be fine," she repeated. "And Sirius?"  
  
"Yes?" Sirius responded.  
  
"Thank you again," she said before she turned to go into the bathroom. He nodded and turned to go back into Harry's room. Once in the bathroom, she gazed into the mirror. Trying to get her hair calmed down into some semblance of neatness, Aurora thought about what her life might have been like if fate had been different fifteen years ago. Would they have lived happily ever after? Had a couple if children to dote upon? Would James and Lily have been the godparents to their children?  
  
"It will do you no good to dwell in the past with foolish guesses," she told her reflection.  
  
"You are the most unromantic woman to come into this room," the mirror shot back sleepily. "Almost as bad as that Ron boy. A good dose of romance is what you need!" Aurora glared at the magical glass before storming out of the bathroom and back to Sirius's room to change into her robes. Hurrying around, she decided that she would make the bed and fold his pajamas when she got back. Grabbing her wand, she vanished with a pop. 


	6. A Picture's Worth a Thousand Words

Chapter 6  
  
Sirius walked to his childhood bedroom when he was sure that she was gone. He picked up the night clothes from the pile on the floor. He could smell the scent of her on his pajamas. He held the shirt up to his nose and breathed deeply. It was as if she wore the scent of a thousand different flowers. Instinctively, he closed his eyes and could see them on a day so many years ago.  
  
Flashback..  
  
It was cold and snowy. Aurora was lying on the bed with him in the girls Gryffindor dorm. Everyone else had gone to Hogsmeade for the last visit of the term. Aurora's scent kept washing over him; it was as if it were springtime in the middle of winter. They laughed and talked for hours. He had been so content at that moment. He loved her more than anything, he realized. Or perhaps, more accurately, he was just now able to admit it to himself. After all, he was seventeen and she was just fifteen. They were too young, weren't they? Could you meet your soulmate when you were thirteen and she was eleven?  
  
"Hey," she nudged him. "What are thinking about?"  
  
"Nothing, Rori," he lied. She began to gaze at him intensely. "Stop doing that, Aurora Walsh!"  
  
"What?" she grinned.  
  
"Legilimency," he answered. "That is so unfair. I can't hide anything from you!"  
  
"But I don't try to delve into your mind to see what is going on," she replied innocently. "Only to see if you are being deceitful."  
  
"I would never deceive you, Aurora," he whispered as he looked straight into her blue eyes. "I love you too much to do that." If she was expecting anything at that moment, those words were not it. He broke into a broad smile and pushed her hair out of her eyes. "I do believe that this is the first time you have ever been at a loss for words, baby."  
  
"Well, yes," she faltered. "That is one way of saying it." They had been seeing each other since the Valentine's Ball but Aurora never dreamed that Sirius had any kind deep feelings for her. She had dreamed of hearing him say it, but never expected it.  
  
Propping himself up on his elbow he touched her cheek softly before he leaned down to kiss her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and responded to his kiss. He rolled over so that he was on top of her and continued to kiss Aurora. Her heart exploded as he deepened his kiss. He pulled away and she groaned softly. She looked up at him confusedly.  
  
"Well?" he asked softly.  
  
"Well, what?" she hissed. "Keep kissing me, you git."  
  
"Don't you have anything to say to me?" he practically begged.  
  
"Oh, yeah., almost forgot about that, huh? I love you, Sirius," Aurora said. "I almost told you a couple of weeks ago. But I was afraid. I didn't have any clue that.you, er, you felt."  
  
"I'm glad you didn't tell me," Sirius told her. "You deserved to hear it first. You are so amazing. I love you with all my heart, Aurora Magen Walsh." With that he leaned down to resume his task of kissing her to his heart's content.  
  
Present time..  
  
Even now that memory could evoke so many emotions in him. Was he stupid to think that a love formed at that age could really matter? Really, who could have expected her to stick around? She gave up most of her of her youth to be with him at Hogwarts. No wonder she jumped at the chance to flee after he was taken away. Sighing, he walked over to the dresser and shoved the pajamas into a drawer. After pulling out his wand and whispering a few housekeeping spells, the room was neat once more.  
  
Appearing in the living room of her London flat, Aurora sighed with relief to be home. Hurrying to the closet she began to pull out the supplies she would need to return to Grimmauld Place. Extra robes, supplies, and other belongings were quickly thrown into a trunk. Carefully, she picked up a scrapbook of wizard photos.  
  
Walking over to the bed, she sat down and opened the cover to see a picture of she and Sirius staring up at her. She was only 12 when it was taken and he was fourteen. They had their arms thrown around each other's shoulders like the best of friends. Not a hint of the romance to come was there, yet, she thought with a smile. A photo of her and Remus sitting by the Lake covered the next page. It was taken by Sirius who joked with Remus that it was such a good photo of Rori that he was going to cut Remus out of it.  
  
For about an hour, she turned the pages and laughed at the photos of them all. Photos from the Potter's wedding graced many of the pages. Then, there they all were at Harry's christening. He was such a chubby little baby! She remembered how sweet he smelled. Lily could hardly get her to hand him back over to her at St. Mungo's when he was born. And the way that Sirius had looked at her when she was holding the baby! He had that look of amazement and hope in his blue eyes. When they left, he could not wait to see her holding his newborn baby someday. And that night, they worked on that goal for quite a while, she remembered with a flush.  
  
Realizing that it was getting close to noon, she shut the book of photos and rode to grab her trunk. But before she walked out of the room, she reached inside of a box for a small velvet pouch. Sighing, she stuck it into the pocket of her robes and then she vanished from the room. Upon popping into the kitchen at the headquarters, she was greeted by Harry who was playing Exploding Snap with Ron.  
  
"Hullo," he told her with a smile. "Professor Lupin has been looking for you. He was in the living room earlier."  
  
"Thanks Harry," Aurora said. "Where should I put my things? Do either of you have any clue?"  
  
"Which room would you like?" a voice asked from the doorway.  
  
"I'm not picky," she told Sirius. "Just tell me where you want me and that will do perfectly."  
  
"You can keep my old room if you like. I don't sleep in there. Usually, I share the room with Buckbeak," he told her. "He would be the hippogriff that ran away with me after Harry here saved me from the Dementor's kiss." Her face became contorted in confusion. "It's a long story. Too long for now, so just keep my old room." She smiled her thanks and began to levitate her things upstairs. Harry just grinned at his godfather with a knowing smile.  
  
"Sirius?" he said chuckling. "Why did you lie to her?"  
  
"I did not!" he barked.  
  
"You have been sleeping in your old room every night since I have been here," Harry pointed out.  
  
"He has a point, Sirius mate," Ron noted.  
  
"Not a word of this to anyone," Sirius scathed. "You act more like your father every day, Harry." Harry grinned as Sirius stormed out of the kitchen.  
  
"Ron, do you think that the subject of Aurora gets under his skin a tad bit?" he asked his friend in a tone of mock concern.  
  
"Harry, I do believe you are correct," Ron agreed. "Perhaps we should let it be, not get involved and all."  
  
"Or we could see how much trouble some modern day Marauders could cause," Harry suggested with a grin. As Ron nodded in agreement, Harry wondered if there was still hope for his godfather and the woman that walked into the House of Black less than twenty-four hours ago. 


	7. First Touch

Chapter 7  
  
"Remus?" Aurora called to the man sitting on the sofa. In front of Lupin were all types of maps and drawings depicting a building of some sort. "Harry said that were looking for me."  
  
"I wanted to talk to you soon about what is happening in the Order. We know that he is after the prophecy, Aurora," the werewolf told her. "He wants to know exactly what the prophecy was." Aurora began to chew on her bottom lip.  
  
"He wants to know how to.how to."she faltered. "How to be rid of Harry."  
  
"Yes," Remus replied quietly. "We are doing everything we can to guard the room where it is kept."  
  
"Poor Harry," she whispered. "I wish I had been there for him more. All those years without even Sirius, living with those terrible muggles. I made a promise to Lily and I betrayed that promise, Remus. Will Harry ever understand?"  
  
"I can understand, Aurora. I think even Sirius understands deep down," he told her quietly. "Harry is wonderful young man who has endured a lot. He will get over any initial anger and forgive, just as Sirius will do. Now, I best be off. I have meet with the headmaster soon." With that, he stood and left the room and Aurora was left once again with her thoughts. Rubbing her temples, she heard someone's footsteps. She looked up quickly to find Sirius standing in behind the sofa.  
  
"How are you?" he asked awkwardly as he brushed his long, dark hair out of his eyes. Aurora shrugged her shoulders and gave him a weak smile. Sitting down beside her, he placed a tentative hand on her shoulder. "Are you going to be okay? With being back here and all?"  
  
"I s'pose," she sighed. "I miss them so much, Sirius. I never thought Lily and James would be gone."  
  
"I know," he replied. "I think about them everyday, even now."  
  
"I ran. I am such a coward," Aurora told him. "Lily would have never left like I did. She was so brave. And James, he had the bravery of Godric himself."  
  
"He held him off to try and let Lily get Harry out of the house," Sirius said quietly. "The pain and fear that she must have felt trying to get out of their, yet knowing that she would lose James. Knowing that he was about to be taken from her forever." Aurora felt the tears falling down her cheeks before she realized that she was crying.  
  
"I remember the night I found out they were gone," she recalled. "I remember Remus coming to the house. He told me. I couldn't find you. He couldn't find you."  
  
"I had gone to look for Peter," he said. "When I found them, Hagrid was there already. I asked him to take Harry. Told him that I would take him to you. Then I wanted to go and look for Peter, that backstabbing bastard that he is. But Hagrid had his orders to bring Harry to his aunt and uncle. And the whole wizarding world knows the story from that point on."  
  
Sirius realized that Aurora was unusually quiet. Finally glancing at her, he saw her with her head in her hands, sobbing quietly. "Let it go, Rori. It's the past. We have to move on," Sirius told her gently. "Lily and James would never blame you. You have to start healing. It's time. We have to be strong for this fight and dwelling in the past will only weaken us, do you understand?" She nodded and for a moment his heart clenched at the sight of her tear stained face.  
  
"It's so hard to be back here. I never expected all of this," she apologized. "I don't mean to break down."  
  
"Nothing to apologize for," he responded with a smile. "I better go and check on Kreacher. He was supposed to be clearing out another bedroom but he is probably just up there sniffing a pair of dad's boxer's." He patted her leg and rose to go upstairs. Her leg seemed to burn when he touched her. As she watched him walk away, she began to daydream about the past. She remembered the first time that she truly felt his touch.  
  
Aurora remembered that she was 16. Sirius was already 18 and had been out of school for almost a year. Faithful to their promise to not forget her, the Marauders tried to visit with her in Hogsmeade during school trips there. How she had missed him those first couple of months. She couldn't wait to finish up her last bit of school. James and Lily were getting married soon, too. The wedding would be held right after exams were over for Aurora. Of course, the best part was that she would get to stay at Sirius's new flat with him in the days before the wedding. Her mum thought she was staying at Lily's but Lil had agreed to cover for her.  
  
As the end of the year approached, marked the days until she was ready to leave for the summer. As she arrived at the station for the Hogwarts Express, she saw Sirius waiting for her on a bench. He smiled at her and she knew that there would never be another person in the world that could make her feel the way he made her feel.  
  
"Hi sweetheart," he told her as he bent to kiss her cheek. "Ready to go?" She nodded with a smile and turned to see Prof. McGonnagal watching them.  
  
"Professor!" Sirius exclaimed. "How lovely to see you again! Classes going well?"  
  
"Pleasure seeing you as well, Mr. Black," Minerva replied. "I trust that you are simply seeing Miss Walsh to Miss Evans's house?" The dry smile on their Transfiguration teacher's face told them that she had an idea as to where Aurora would truly be spending the next couple of nights.  
  
"Of course," Sirius lied. "Why Lily is beside herself with plans! She couldn't get away to meet Aurora, so I volunteered."  
  
"What a sweet young man," the older lady remarked sarcastically as she walked away.  
  
"Sirius, she knew you were lying!" Aurora moaned. "She must know that I'm going to your house instead of Lily's."  
  
"Aurora, your not twelve, if you were, I would be, well, a bit sick I guess," he contemplated. "But anyway, McGonagall is not going to say anything to you. She thinks we're cute together."  
  
As they walked to the small, modest home where Sirius had been living since he moved away from Grimmauld Place, they talked about the latest news from Hogwarts. Sirius kept thinking about how much he missed seeing her every day. It was so lonely to get up, go to work, and then come home to an empty house. He envied James; James would never have that feeling after tomorrow. He would have Lily by his side for the rest of his life.  
  
He had never discussed marriage with Aurora. She was still so young. At times, Sirius felt guilty and as if he held Aurora back. He had already had a few experiences when he started to date her, but she was only fourteen then. He toyed with the idea of them taking time apart to let her have some fun before she graduated. But, he couldn't do it; he was too selfish to let her go. To separate himself from her, that would be like cutting off a part of his own body.  
  
"So, do you have everything for the wedding tomorrow?" he asked her. "Because, I am not walking all the way to Hogwarts when you realize that you don't have your special something or another that you can't live without." She turned to look at him and smiled as she reached out and cupped his face in her hands.  
  
"I have my special you, Sirius Black," Aurora told him with her face inches from his. "I can survive without everything else but you." He laid her bags down and reached out to pull her close and kiss her. She made his heart soar when she was near him. As they broke away from the kiss, she took his hand and led him up the path to the front door. She opened the door and led him inside where he dropped her bags on the comfy chair near the fireplace. With a small smile she beckoned him to follow her down the hall as she looked into the rooms.  
  
"This place is so cozy, Siri," she told him with a smile. "Where's the bedroom by the way?"  
  
He nearly choked at her bluntness. "Aurora, er, why do you wanna.er..know?" She giggled and pulled him close kissing him passionately. As her hands roamed all over his body, he soon realized exactly why she wanted to know where the bedroom was and guided her to it accordingly. Sirius scooped her up in his arms and laid her on his bed. He stretched out beside her and pulled her on top of him. "I love you with all my soul," he whispered as he planted soft kisses along her collarbone. As he ran his hands under her robes, she moaned softly when his fingers touched bare skin. Slowly, he began to undress her. "You don't have to do this, baby," he promised her. "Even if I had to wait a million years, I would never leave you."  
  
"Shhh," she whispered as she placed her finger on his lips. "Don't talk, just feel." Then she began pulled his head down to meet hers in a kiss. Swiftly, he flipped them so that she was beneath him. He quickly shrugged his own robes off and delighted in the feel of her bare skin against his. "Sirius, baby please," she sighed. "Hurry, I need you."  
  
"We don't need to hurry," he told her. "We have all the time in the world. I want this to be special." He slowly began to kiss a trail beginning at her neck. He would pause to kiss or lick certain spots and he relished in the soft moans that told him how much she enjoyed his attention. "You are so lovely," he murmured as he ran his hands over her. Instinctively, she began to move her hips under him, nearly driving him insane. His heart told him that she was ready and he entered her slowly. "Did I hurt you?" he asked her tenderly. Unable to speak, she shook her head no. As they found a rhythm together, nothing could be heard but whispered endearments and sighs of joy. At the moment that they found completeness, they were both looking into each other's eyes. It was clear from that moment on that they had found their soul mate in each other. 


	8. Confronting Failure

Chapter 8  
  
Realizing that she was still sitting in the living room and staring off into space, Aurora quickly looked around to see if anyone had seen her daydreaming about the past. Relieved to find no one else around, she stood up and started to walk into the kitchen where she found Hermione and Harry working diligently on their homework for the beginning of the new school year.  
  
"Hey guys," she greeted them. Harry looked up and smiled at her. She still couldn't get over the strong resemblance to his father. "What are you working on?"  
  
"Potions, ick," Harry complained. "I hate that class. It's terrible."  
  
"Who teaches it?" she inquired.  
  
"Snape," both teenagers responded in unison.  
  
"As in Severus Snape?" Aurora squealed. Both Harry and Hermione nodded. "He was in Sirius, James, and Remus's class at Hogwarts. He hated me. He called me 'Miss Prissy Pants'. How in Merlin's beard did he manage to get that job?"  
  
"Dumbledore for some reason has a high opinion of Snape," Harry explained. "Snape makes us wish that the position of Potions Master had the same turnover rate as the Defense Against the Dark Arts job."  
  
"What is the deal with the Dark Arts job?" Aurora asked.  
  
"No one lasts over a year," Hermione began to gossip. The best one yet was Lupin but he left when Snape told the whole school that he is a..."  
  
"Hermione!" Harry yelled. " That's a secret."  
  
"No it's not," Aurora laughed. "I knew that Remus was a werewolf before any of the others. And your dad was a stag, Sirius a dog, and of course, Peter was a rat. Quite appropriate if you ask me."  
  
"Here is the worst part," Harry began, "Snape's part of the Order so he's around all the time. And of course, he makes sure he lets me know how much he dislikes me as always."  
  
"He hated your dad and his friends in school," Aurora told them. "You would think that everyone would get over all of this and move on, wouldn't you? Oh well, Snape can be all right if he tries. Things are not always as you see them, you know?"  
  
"Hmm, I guess," Harry sighed. "So were you close to my mum and dad, Aurora?"  
  
"I played Quidditch with your dad. I knew him better but I gradually got to know your mum through James once they started dating," she reminisced.  
  
"You played Quidditch?" Harry asked. "What position?"  
  
"Seeker," she revealed.  
  
"You're A.M. Walsh," Hermione said quietly. "Harry, remember the plaque in the trophy case with your dad's name on it? The name of the seeker was A.M. Walsh. You were one the best seekers in Hogwarts history." Harry looked absolutely amazed.  
  
"You played with my dad? And Sirius?" Harry asked. "What position did they play?"  
  
"Your dad was a chaser and Sirius was a beater," she told him. "It was so fun back then. Of course, I haven't been on a broom in ages. Probably since I graduated from Hogwarts."  
  
"So, if I remember all my magical history, your father is Christopher Walsh, one of the founders of the Department of Aurors?"  
  
"Once again, Hermione, you are correct," she replied with a smile. "It is also how I got my name, Aurora. My father wanted me to symbolize all he had to come believe in. He also hoped that by the time I was grown that the need for the Aurors would be gone. He wanted me to be the only remaining Auror, so to speak. Of course, we all know that it was a foolish hope that did not come true."  
  
"I think it is a beautiful name and an even more lovely story," the voice of Molly Weasley said as she walked into the kitchen. "My husband knew your father. He grew acquainted with him during Arthur's early days in the Ministry. Arthur once told me that there was no man braver and more dedicated to fighting dark magic than your father."  
  
"Thank you," Aurora said softly. "Unfortunately, my father died in the line of duty when I was sixteen. My mum passed away about five years ago. She never got over my father's death."  
  
"So I guess you're an orphan like me, huh?" Harry asked tenderly.  
  
"You're not an orphan, Harry," she told him. "You have Sirius."  
  
"Hmm," Molly pondered. "Little good having a godfather will do him if someone doesn't convince Sirius to keep safe. Seems to think it's perfectly ok to be out and about London when you are Azkaban's most famous former resident."  
  
"Sirius Black has a huge lump of bravery where his brain should be," Aurora sighed. "Does he not realize that he cannot help Harry if he is dead or recaptured? Or even worse, loses his soul to the Dementors?"  
  
"It's hard on him," Harry defended his beloved godfather. "He isn't the type to stay cooped up in this musty old house."  
  
"But it is keeping him alive, Harry," Aurora said tensely. "Once his name is clear, then he can set foot outside of this old musty house. But what good is a clear name if you're dead?"  
  
"But nobody understands how it feels except me," Harry explained. "My aunt and uncle keep me locked up every summer. It might keep me safe in the long run but it still stinks."  
  
"Harry you are still a child," Aurora sighed. "Sirius is a grown man. He knows better."  
  
"Well, Mum and Dad apparently thought he knew better enough to make him my only guardian!" Harry practically screamed. "If they thought he couldn't control his urges why didn't they give me a godmother too?"  
  
"Yes Aurora," a mocking voice said. "Why didn't Lily and James give Harry a godmother? That was pretty unusual for a person as meticulous as Lily. James was the impulsive one, not Lily. One would have thought that she would have picked someone to balance out James's choice of me." Sirius looked at her meaningfully as if to dare her to explain the answer.  
  
"He can't protect you if he is dead, Harry," Aurora said. "And you know that Sirius. No one wants to see Sirius hurt, Harry."  
  
"Even you?" Harry inquired.  
  
"Even me," she said saddened at the thought that anyone would even consider that she would want Sirius dead. "The past is the past. I in no way want to see your godfather hurt or dead." For just a second, Sirius felt his heart clench. Of course, it wasn't much that she didn't want him dead at least. But, then again, he thought, on the flip side, at least she doesn't want me dead.  
  
"Thank you Aurora," Sirius said with a small bow. "It's always nice to be able to take someone off the list of those that want me dead, you know. Any chance you could convince the Minister to share your view?"  
  
"Maybe, if you cut that hair, Sirius," she teased.  
  
"Honestly, Sirius," Molly began, "you and Bill are awful with that hair. You would both be so much better looking without it!"  
  
"I like my hair," Sirius state firmly.  
  
"Hmm, just because you used to be a convict does not mean you to remain looking like one," Aurora argued with a smirk.  
  
"No," he replied. "Do not touch my hair."  
  
"Just one simple little spell," she laughed, "and poof! Short haired Sirius!"  
  
"If you touch my hair, Walsh, you will pay," Sirius promised. Harry and Ron watched the scene play out before them with a look of amusement on their faces. Harry began to see why his godfather and Aurora had been so happy when they were together. The playful banter seemed natural and as if they had never been apart.  
  
But, reality reminded Harry of what had actually happened. Deep down, guilt had begun to surface. A guilt that, if his godfather had not came that night and found everything, if Sirius had not cared so much that he raced to Godric's Hollow to check on the Potters, then maybe Sirius would have had a chance to have a family of his own. Harry would have expected Aurora to resent him for all of this, but she did not. She treated Harry with warmth and kindness.  
  
As Aurora laughed with Sirius, she realized how natural being near him still felt. Harry was amazingly like James in his sense of humor and personality. Harry had grown up to be a wonderful young man. That is without any help from me, she reminded herself. Just a single look at Harry reminded her of what she considered to be her greatest failure. She had failed to be the godmother that Lily and James had trusted her to be. 


	9. The Night of Godric's Hollow

Chapter 9  
  
Flashback..  
  
As the boys all laughed and joked how the new baby boy's first words had to be snitch, quidditch, and quaffle, Aurora said quietly in the room watching Lily rest. Little Harry giggled or cooed from his cradle occasionally. Only 1 day old and he was already the center of his father and godfather's world.  
  
"Aurora?" Lily said quietly.  
  
"Yes Lil," she answered startled out of her daydreams. "do you need something?"  
  
"No, I'm fine," Lily replied. "I wanted to ask you something. You know that we asked Sirius to be Harry's godfather." Aurora nodded her assent and Lily continued. "Well, Sirius is an airhead and I know that there is no way he could watch after Harry on his own. James and I, or rather I know, that Harry needs a godmother. And he needs one with a good head on her shoulders."  
  
"I agree," Aurora yawned, exhausted from sitting up with everyone all night. "Who are you choosing?"  
  
"You, Aurora," Lily answered.  
  
"Me?" she squeaked. "What about your sister? Surely she is better than a seventeen year old kid?"  
  
"You would be surprised," Lily answered dryly. "You are what balances Sirius. I know that you two will never willingly be apart from one another. I know that you would risk everything to care for Harry just as Sirius would. I want you to be his godmother and so does James."  
  
"Lily, I am shocked," Aurora said. "And honored. Of course I will do it." She jumped out of her seat and ran to the hospital bed to hug Lily. As she pulled away, she looked at little Harry lying in his baby bed, fast asleep. He looked so sweet and innocent.  
  
Lily and James were only nineteen. They had been married for one year when they found out that Lily was pregnant. And they could not have been more excited. Sirius was like a kid at Christmas, running to Diagon Alley to go shopping for baby sized quidditch robes, child sized brooms, and stuffed animals for his godson. Of course, both James and Sirius were convinced from the moment that Lily found out that she was pregnant that it would be a boy. Just think, one of them would say, in a mere eleven years he can pick up where we left off and wreak havoc on Hogwarts.  
  
The only one who seemed distant was Lily. As Voldemort rose to power, she became more and more strained. Aurora knew what was wrong. She feared bringing a child into a world where evil was gaining ground each and every day. The only thing that calmed her was the fact that she knew Harry would have people to look after him if something happened to her and James.  
  
But that never happened, Aurora thought glumly. After James and Lily were murdered, she never even got to see Harry before he was sent off to his relatives. Rubeus Hagrid came that night on the headmaster's orders and took Harry to Number 4 Privet Drive. Just thinking of that night made her hold her breath and become clammy.  
  
A knock at the front door awakened her from her sleep. Just a few months out of Hogwarts, she was working with for a company that researched wand improvement and alternatives for wand cores. For the time being, Aurora had insisted on having her own place and not living with Sirius. Her mother would not have been pleased to discover them living together without the benefit of marriage. So, to keep up appearances, they each had their own place. Though rarely did either of them spend the night alone, Aurora could tell her mother that she was not living with Sirius.  
  
Sirius was constantly busy working with the original Order that he seemed to just come to Aurora's and fall asleep. But he was still there, she thought gratefully. But on that Halloween night, she woke up to the pounding on the door and rolled over to find that Sirius had not crept into bed. She glanced at the clock to find that it was almost midnight and grabbed her dressing gown to go to the door. Always look to see who it is, Sirius preached to her as if Voldemort would knock first or something.  
  
It was Remus standing at the front door. He looked terrible. She answered the door quickly and he looked around nervously as he came into the room.  
  
"Where is Sirius, Aurora?" he asked in strange voice.  
  
"He's not here, I haven't seen him the whole night," Aurora told him. "He might be at his place."  
  
"I checked there first," Remus sighed. "You need to sit down, Aurora." Lupin led her to the sofa and took a deep breath. "I've just come from Godric's Hollow. Voldemort has been there. James and Lily are gone."  
  
All the color went out of her face. Gone? He means dead, she had to tell herself. "How did he find them? The Fidelius charm? Sirius was the." her voice trailed off. And at that moment, she felt her heart shatter into a million pieces.  
  
"Where is Harry?" she croaked when she finally found her voice.  
  
"Dumbledore has apparently sent him to stay with Lily's sister," Remus answered. She nodded and then she broke down, unable to keep the pain and shock inside any longer. Fifteen years later, she still had no idea how long she cried or when she finally pulled herself up off the floor where she has crumbled to the floor when standing up became too difficult.  
  
The next few days were the worst of her life. She vaguely recalled finding out the Peter was gone, too. She vaguely recalled a room filled with hushed tense voices. She tried to keep her head up. She kept thinking that now they would all get an explanation that would make sense. Sirius would explain now, she thought. They led him into the room, those things that glide and made you feel so cold inside.  
  
Sirius looked horrible. He had huge dark circles under his eyes. As he came before the man seated at the bench with he other members of the court, the charges were read. Then, the words, "no trial" came out and Sirius began to protest, to demand a trial. But the only response he got was his sentence to life imprisonment in Azkaban. He was led away but before the Dementors could drag him through the door leading out of the room, he glanced over his shoulder and looked at Aurora with a mixture of fear, pain, confusion, and, Aurora hoped, love.  
  
Remus helped to get her out of the building quickly. She promised him that she would owl him as soon as she got home. But as she walked through the door and realized that tonight, Sirius would not sneak into her room. Aurora realized that she would never again feel him slip into bed behind her or see his smile. He was gone just like Lily and James. Frantically, she felt her anxiety start to rise. Pulling out her wand, she transfigured all the belongings in her flat to fit into a small bag. Then, she ran out the front door and never looked back. A few minutes later after she fled, Remus Lupin walked through the unlocked front door and found that she was gone. It would be fifteen years before he would see her again. 


	10. Sweet and Unsweet Dreams

Each day that Aurora spent at the headquarters for the Order, she felt began to relax in some ways. But at night, she became tense as it grew closer to bedtime. She knew what happened at night and had no intention of allowing anyone else to discover her secret.  
  
The only solution she could devise was to ask for help from a person not likely to give it. One evening as a meeting of the Order was ending, she finally gathered her courage and swallowed her pride. Lupin and Sirius had already left the study when she walked over and grabbed Professor Snape's arm. He sneered at her with all the aloofness she remembered from her time at Hogwarts.  
  
"Hmm," he remarked casually, "I wondered when you would work up the courage to actually speak to me. I differ from Black. I don't force someone to speak to me. I have my pride."  
  
"Severus, please don't make this harder on me," Aurora pleaded. "I have my pride as well and I am swallowing a great deal of it right now."  
  
"What do you want, Walsh?" he asked.  
  
"I need something to make my dreams go away," she explained. "I don't want to have my nightmares here, with all of these people around. And I am trusting you to not tell anyone that I have made this request to you."  
  
"What nightmares?" Snape inquired.  
  
"Please," Aurora began, "I don't want to talk about them. I just need a potion for dreamless sleep."  
  
"We have never been friends by any stretch of the imagination, Aurora," Snape said. "I wouldn't imagine that you would want to confide in me. However, I am not so dense that I can't imagine a list of things in your past that you would want to hide from in your dreams." He glanced at her to see her cast her eyes downward. "Potions can be addictive, Walsh. They can leave scars as bad as those memories."  
  
With a nod of understanding, she smirked slightly. "It's ok. I haven't run for fifteen years. Why would I run now?" As he walked out of the room, he felt a stab of sympathy for Aurora. Sure, she was a Gryffindor. And she had seemed glued to the side of those infernal Marauders. Then, she had the ill taste to go and fall in love with Sirius Black. But, she had never taken an active part of their pranks toward him. Shaking his head in pity, he walked out of the study and to the front door. She did not deserve any of the pain and misery that had come her way. But then again, who really had?  
  
Remus and Sirius noticed Aurora hanging back after the meeting. Both wondered why she would be so intent on talking with Snape. Neither dared mention to the other their thoughts. Remus could only imagine how much it must be eating at Sirius. He was sure that he saw a flash in Padfoot's eyes when Aurora hung back to talk to Snape.  
  
"Wonder what she wants with him," Remus quietly ventured.  
  
"I could care less," Sirius lied in response. "Who knows, who cares." But at the same time he was saying those words to Remus, a small voice was telling him in the back of his mind, you do.  
  
As she walked upstairs to get ready for bed, she felt her heart start to beat a little faster. Each night had brought on the same anxiety as the one before. Same dreams, same memories, and the same fear raced through her mind. It's got to get better eventually, she thought to herself. But then a small voice answered her almost immediately: it hasn't gotten better in fifteen years, so why now?  
  
The dreams had gotten worse since she had moved to her new quarters at 12, Grimmauld Place. For some reason, Sirius had reclaimed his old bedroom but not until he had cleaned up an old guestroom for her. Granted, her new room was much better than the old one. She had a lovely king size bed now instead of the cramped twin bed. The room was very feminine but she found herself wishing that she could sleep in the smaller bedroom. Sleeping in Sirius's old room had leant her some comfort in the beginning of all this. The dreams had stopped while she was staying in the other room. She now felt robbed of her security blanket.  
  
Sighing softly, she opened the door to her room and walked inside. As she changed into her nightgown, she realized that the kids would all be leaving for the new term the day after tomorrow. She had yet to decide if she would stay at headquarters or go back to London for a while.  
  
Actually, she just had to decide if she was brave enough to stay there with the kids gone. With less people around to distract Sirius, there was a greater chance she would finally be forced to stand in a room with him without anyone else present. She did not know if she could handle it. Aurora tied her hair back and crawled beneath the covers. Then she waited for the nightmares to begin again.  
  
Downstairs the kids were working on their last bit of homework. Sirius, Remus, and Arthur sat nearby and once in a while, they would hear one of the kids call out a question.  
  
"Professor Lupin?" Ron's voice rang out. "How do you handle tickleworms?"  
  
"With dragon-hide gloves," Remus answered. One by one, the kids called out various questions to the two older men. As Mrs. Weasley walked down the stairs, she heard the commotion in the living room. She could sighed loudly upon realizing what the kids were doing to Remus and Sirius. They knew that they could appeal to Sirius (especially Sirius's) and Remus's ego. Sirius had always enjoyed showing how much he knew. But every now and then, he was a little naïve, such as right now when he was being used by three teenagers to get their homework done without doing any of the work themselves.  
  
"Sirius, Remus," Molly Weasley called into the room, "you do realize what the kids are doing?"  
  
"Uh no," Sirius said as he wrinkled his forehead in confusion.  
  
"Well, let me explain it to you both. If you keep answering their questions they will not have to do any of their homework on their own," she explained calmly, as if it were to a three year old. "In other words, they are pulling one over on you." Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny all lowered their gaze to the table as she spoke.  
  
Ron was blushing furiously but Harry looked up to give her a grin. "Hermione, I expected more of at least you!" Molly exclaimed. She began her lecture just as the kids tuned her words out. After it seemed safe to assume that she was finished, the group began to dissemble and make its way out of the den. Each went about his way in order to get ready for bed. The halls echoed with the sound of teeth being brushed, showers being taken, and rooms being readied for night.  
  
As the hours passed, the house became calm and quiet. The only sound now audible was that of soft snores. But a high pitched scream suddenly interrupted the calm. Startled by the first scream, Ron and Harry came to the door of their room and began to look around. The silence led them to believe that, perhaps, they had imagined the first scream. Then, several long screams punctuated the air. "It's coming from down the hall," Hermione whispered as she walked to the boys' door. Ginny followed suit, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.  
  
Mr. and Mrs. Weasley soon came out of their bedroom to see what the commotion was all about. It took a few moments for the group to comprehend that the screams were coming from Aurora's room. They tried to understand what she was saying but could only make out bits and pieces-  
  
"Stop no.please..he can't..."  
  
"Don't leave."  
  
"It's not true."  
  
"Oh please, Merlin, no.."  
  
The barely audible screams were mixed with moans and sobs. As the group stood around dumbfounded, a door at the end of the room opened and Professor Lupin rushed down the hall. He burst into Aurora's room and began to shake her slightly. He sat down and pulled her to him trying to get her to wake up. The group moved closer to her doorway to see what was going on.  
  
Aurora finally awoke and realized what had happened. She laid her head on Remus's chest and began to cry harder than Harry had ever seen anyone cry. "Remus, I see it every night," she told him as she choked back a sob. "They take him away every night. I can't bear it anymore."  
  
As they moved closer in, they were suddenly pushed aside by Sirius, who was trying to tie his robe as he ran into the room. Pushing his long dark hair out of his eyes, he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Aurora crying into Lupin's chest. Her words took hold of him as he realized what she was saying.  
  
Slowly, as if in slow motion he crossed the room to where Remus sat rocking her slowly. He reached down and laid a hand on his friend's shoulder. Remus looked up at him with a solemn look in his eyes. Sirius slowly sat down on the edge of the bed and reached out and touched Aurora's wet cheek. Remus stood up and began to walk quietly towards the door.  
  
"Hey Rori," he whispered softly. "Everything's okay. I'm here. They're not taking me away." She hiccuped another sob and he reached out to wipe away a stray tear. "Stop worrying." Lupin and Molly Weasley slowly herded everyone out of the doorway. There were protests from each of the girls but Molly hushed their arguments.  
  
As the door shut, Sirius gave Aurora a small smile and offered out an outstretched arm. "You can borrow a shoulder to lean on if you'd like," he teased. She gave him a watery smile before laying her wet face against his strong shoulder. "You shouldn't worry about me, you know."  
  
"I can't get away from those dreams," she whispered. "They have haunted me for fifteen years. I figure that they haunt me because I ran. Just like you always said, I ran when I got scared. I should have never been a Gryffindor. I'm not brave enough."  
  
"Stop saying that," Sirius told her. "You survived. That is what we all must try to do right now." She nodded slowly. "I know things have been rocky between us. I have not been as kind to you as I should have."  
  
"I understand," she began. "Its okay."  
  
"If you want me to stay with you, I will," he offered. "I will just stay in here, nothing else. You can trust me. I don't want you to be afraid."  
  
"Would you please?" Aurora asked. "I just want to be able to sleep."  
  
"Come here," he told her as he reached out for her. He snuggled her close to him and tucked the covers around her. As her curly hair tickled his chin, he blew it out of his face. "Aurora, are you ever going to get rid of all this hair?"  
  
"Of course, you really have no reason to make a comment like that now," Aurora replied. Your hair is nearly as long as mine now."  
  
"Whatever," Sirius laughed. "Go to sleep before I toss you out of this bed." She laughed and snuggled into his chest. With a flick of his wand, he turned out the lights in the room and was soon greeted by the sound of her breathing. He could only lay there and soak up the feeling of her. He had not held anyone like this for fifteen years. The last decade and a half had hardened him but it had only made her more beautiful. As his body relaxed, he began to fight going to sleep. His mind would rather preserve this night and tattoo everything on his memory. At that moment when he knew he was about to fall asleep, he reached down and gave her a soft kiss on her forehead. And he could have sworn that, even in the midst of her dreams, she smiled. 


	11. Good Morning

Chapter 11  
  
As the sunlight came into the room, Sirius began to stir under the slight weight of Aurora leaned against him. She was still sleeping peacefully and he smiled at the way she was curled up in the covers. Willing all of his resolve, he resisted pulling her closer. After a night of holding her, so many walls had fallen down. He could no longer lie to himself that he didn't still care about her. Nor could he stop himself from moving on from forgiving her for running away.  
  
But he knew deep down that she could not still love him. There was so much that Aurora had faced without him. In fact, she faced much of it because of him. Yet, she was still in anguish over her memory of him being taken away to Azkaban. He watched as the light washed over her face, illuminating her features. The long lashes grazed her cheeks and her pink lips seemed to form a pout as she breathed softly. She was still as beautiful as she was when he met her, even more beautiful now. Sirius realized that he would be stuck in the house with this woman without distraction. He feared that he would not be able to control what his very soul wanted most at this moment.  
  
As he pondered his situation, he felt Aurora stirring in her sleep. He glanced down to find her eyes squinting in the morning light. A look of confusion crossed her face when she noticed Sirius in bed with her.  
  
"Sirius?" she asked groggily. "Did you stay here the whole night?"  
  
"Yes," he responded as he brushed the hair out of her eyes.  
  
"Thanks," she whispered. "Sorry I was such a basket case last night. Didn't mean to burden everyone and cause such a drama."  
  
"Do not be sorry," Sirius told her. "I've been too hard on you. I been selfish enough to ignore that you might feel pain as much as I had. You were left alone and I don't blame you for running away. I had to hear your screams last night to realize what you ran from." She bit her lower lip and looked as if she was going to cry. Sirius pulled her to him and held her close. Aurora leaned into him and soaked up the warmth he was giving her. For so long she had fought against wanting to be held by him again.  
  
A knock on the door made her break away. Remus entered the room and gave his pair of friends a smile. Seeing Aurora and Sirius together like that brought back so many memories of a time when everyone was happy. A time when all of his friends still had the innocence of youth.  
  
"Feeling better?" he asked Aurora. She nodded and smiled at her friend. It amazed Remus that after all of the drama that had ensued when Aurora came to the headquarters, Sirius still sat there with her in his arms. He sat there holding her as if the last 15 years had never happened. It was a bit awkward but he could not decide how was the best way to break away from her. Actually, he didn't want to let go of her.  
  
Remus crossed the room and pulled up a chair beside the bed. Obviously he did not fear the he was intruding because he showed no signs of leaving.  
  
"I want to talk to you about Harry," Remus began. "About him knowing who you are, Aurora. Are you even remotely considering telling him that you are his godmother?"  
  
"Yes, but Remus, I have got to find the right time. I can't just go and spring this on him," she explained. "Merlin knows that Harry has been through enough without this shock."  
  
"But when, Aurora, when exactly are you going to break it to Harry?" Sirius asked.  
  
"I had considered going to Hogsmeade one weekend. You know, when the students get to visit there. I just want to let him get adjusted back to school and find a time when it can be just Harry and myself," she explained.  
  
"I think that is a fine idea. I will talk to the headmaster and get a list of when the students are going and you can choose from that," Lupin said. "Well, Sirius, we should be getting downstairs. Molly has been looking for us all morning. There is something that she needs us to do this morning."  
  
"Oh, well, yes," the dark haired wizard replied as he reluctantly stood up to leave. "I'll see you downstairs, Aurora."  
  
"Ill be down in a moment," she told him softly. She seemed almost embarrassed and shy around him this morning. As he walked out the door, he pulled it shut behind him and turned to find Remus looking at him with a smug expression on his face.  
  
"Smugness never suited you, Moony," Sirius growled.  
  
"You love her," Remus stated quietly.  
  
"I have always loved her, since we were eleven," Sirius dismissed him.  
  
"Let me rephrase," Lupin corrected. "You are still madly IN love with her."  
  
"I am not," he replied looking downward.  
  
"At least look me in the eye when you lie to me Sirius," Remus told him. "I would bet a thousand galleons that this love goes both ways. I have seen how she still looks at you."  
  
"She wouldn't want me, Remus," Sirius said with a laugh. "Aurora's remained beautiful, unchanged. Look at me, I'm haggard, hardened, and aged. I am a fugitive on the run from the Ministry, for god's sake Remus!"  
  
"But you are Sirius," he explained. "And it was Sirius that she always loved." With that, Professor Lupin walked down the stairs, leaving Sirius to ponder his own thoughts.  
  
After Sirius walked out of the room, Aurora collapsed against the pillows. How could she have let herself be so weak? She had given into all the temptation and let him hold her the whole night. The feeling had been so delicious but, for Merlin's sake, she could not have it happen again. She could not let him make her feel like a fourteen-year old school girl ever again. The time for that had past.  
  
Soon it was time for the kids to make their way to King's Cross to return to Hogwarts. Aurora was busy helping Harry squeeze all of his belongings into a trunk that seemed to have shrunk since the beginning of his stay. She turned to see Sirius standing in the doorway.  
  
"Everything coming along well?" he asked.  
  
"It's bloody well not," she snapped. "I cannot get this stupid sneakoscope to stop going off while I pack this trunk." Sirius gave a bark of laughter and came over to where Aurora was trying to get the trunk to shut so that she could latch it shut.  
  
"Move," he told her simply. Then with a swish of his wand, the trunk closed and latched itself. "Magic a little rusty there, Aurora?" Aurora reached out and smacked him in the chest. Harry began to laugh as he watched them bicker. Sirius grabbed him and flung him over his shoulder.  
  
"Sirius, stop it," Aurora squealed. "You're going to hurt him." As the two males began to wrestle, she began to pray that they would not break anything. She grabbed for her wand while their backs were turned. "Freeze it." Both of them stopped and turned to find her wand pointing directly at them. "I said to stop it and be good little boys."  
  
"Yeah, cause we are really afraid of your rusty magic," Sirius gloated. "You can't even pack a trunk properly."  
  
"Really?" she asked. Sirius nodded and nudged Harry. "Would you like to see what I can do with my rusty magic?" She pointed at Sirius's head and spoke an incantation so softly that only she could hear it. As soon as she finished the words, "folicullus severus," Sirius felt a breeze surround his head. Reaching up to touch his neck, he turned in a fury on Aurora. "That is how rusty my magic is, Sirius Black. Be sure to clean up the mess in the floor, my magic probably won't be able to do that."  
  
Sirius slowly turned around and found that all of the hair that had once framed his face was gone. Now his hair resembled that which Harry had seen in his parent's wedding pictures. Sirius looked about ten years younger. Harry stood there grinning like an idiot.  
  
"What?" his godfather snapped.  
  
"Looks nice," Harry assured him. "Guess her magic wasn't so bloody rusty, eh?" The look on Sirius's face promised that he could commit one of the many murders of which he had been. Harry ran downstairs with a laugh to get away from the threats Sirius was directing at he and Aurora. Despite all of this, for once in his life, he had the strange feeling of not being an orphan. He suddenly felt as if he had a family. 


	12. Confessing Her Sins

Chapter 12  
  
Time passed quickly after the kids returned to school. Aurora became a mastermind at avoiding contact with Sirius. Things seemed so quiet now that the house was filled only with adults. Remus, Molly, and Arthur were in and out of Number 12, Grimmauld Place enough to save Aurora from having to spend evenings alone with Sirius.  
  
Despite how clever Aurora thought she was being, Sirius realized what she was doing. He soon realized that sometimes he was able to catch her eye and she would hold his gaze for a few moments. But, it would be hours after such an incident before she would even speak to him. He wondered if she realized how he felt each time their eyes met; Sirius pondered whether her face became warm, and her legs became weak.  
  
She had promised both he and Remus that she would tell Harry the truth soon. Remus pointed out that she was under enough pressure right now, so that he, Sirius, would not add any to her. Remus understood. Remus saw it all in his childhood friend's eyes. Remus knew that Sirius loved her just as he had loved her fifteen years ago.  
  
Aurora busied herself at night by trying to figure out what words she would use to tell Harry that she was his godmother. How could she explain to him why she let him suffer in some muggle's home rather than stay with her? Would he forgive her when he discovered that she wasn't around to take him in? What would his reaction be when he found out that Dumbledore had considered her for his guardian, that is until she vanished?  
  
Two weeks ago, Remus had promised to accompany her to Hogsmeade to see Harry. Aurora knew that she could not back down. After discussing it over and over, both she and Remus decided they would pick a weekend far enough away from the Christmas holiday that Harry would have time to calm down and digest everything she had to tell him. Aurora feared that he would be so angry at her news that Harry would refuse to stay at the headquarters during Christmas. Then Sirius would blame her.  
  
She wished that Sirius could go with her but she knew better than to ask. Not because he would so no, but because he would say yet. When you are a wanted mass murderer, you can't exactly walk the streets of Hogsmeade, but Sirius Black was stupid enough to try it.  
  
On that morning, she tried to act as if this day was no different than any other. She dressed and made her way to the kitchen to try and eat a bit before she left with Remus. As she sat in the kitchen, she munched on buttered toast, not really tasting anything. Sirius walked in and gave her a wan smile.  
  
"Feeling alright?" he asked. She nodded unable to speak, her throat felt as if it were encircled with a steel band. Aurora knew he could see her hands trembling. "Calm down, Aurora it will be fine. Harry is a good kid."  
  
"I can't calm down," she whispered. "I can only imagine what his reaction will be; he is a normal teenager. He is supposed to get angry at anything as it is; how will he react when he finds out I deserted him?"  
  
"Harry was very forgiving to me," Sirius told her. "I have no reason to doubt that he would show you the same forgiveness."  
  
"I have a reason why," she ranted slightly. "You have three very good reasons for not looking after Harry: life imprisonment, the Dementors, and Azkaban. I have none of those reasons. The only explanation I can even offer him is that I was scared."  
  
"You were only eighteen, three years older than Harry is now," he said. "We were all just kids, Aurora." She shook her head slightly as if to make all the bad memories vanish. He put an arm around her shoulders to give her an awkward hug. Glancing at the clock on the wall, she saw that it was almost time to meet Remus. Aurora took a deep breath to calm herself.  
  
"I best be going," she told Sirius. "I'm supposed to meet Remus in front of Honeydukes in about twenty minutes."  
  
"Good luck," Sirius replied. She walked out of the kitchen and apparated as she approached the front door. Her oldest habit, he thought. She never could apparate if she were standing still. She seemed to think she needed to get a good start or she could not do it properly. It was just one more of the things that never change, Sirius realized with a wry grin.  
  
Aurora saw Lupin leaned against a banister outside the sweet shop. He was watching a poster of Sirius snarl and try to fight his way out of the wanted poster. The only wolfish trait Remus showed today was that he sensed Aurora before she even spoke. He turned and raised his brows slightly. She gave him a slight wave and climbed the steps to where he stood.  
  
"The students have not arrived yet," Remus informed her. "Harry and the rest should be here shortly. Not really his best side, eh?" Aurora was taken aback for a moment until she realized that he was talking about Sirius's "wanted" poster.  
  
"Not exactly a glamorous shot, I agree," she said. "He is such a pain, Remus, I don't know how you do it."  
  
"Well, to be honest, the thought crosses my mind about once a week how much he is worth and what a bloody pain he really is," Lupin teased, "but I can't bring myself to turn him in.yet. How are things with you, by the way? Feeling better, I hope."  
  
"Somewhat," Aurora answered. "I definitely have been sleeping much better."  
  
"Good," Remus replied. "How are things with Sirius?"  
  
"Civil," Aurora told him.  
  
"Nothing more than civility?" he asked.  
  
"That was all a long time ago, too much time has passed," she said.  
  
"Time may have passed but I can still remember how intensely you loved each other," Remus told her. "Do you want me to believe that you do not still love Sirius Black? Aurora, remember who you are talking to! It's me, Moony. I was there during it all. I was even the one who finally ordered Sirius to ask you to that dance. He had pined away over you for so long and we were all sick to death of it. You may not realize it, Rori, but there was three month period where everything you did was perfect, at least according to Padfoot."  
  
"I never knew you were the one who pushed him to ask me out," she said. "I always assumed that if anyone played a part it was James."  
  
"Not in love, Sirius saw how much James had succeeded in nearly blowing his chance with Lily," Remus explained with a smile. "He discreetly sought my advice when it came to the one girl that mattered, you." Aurora blushed and turned her head to escape Remus's inquisitive manner. She noticed a group of students wearing the familiar Hogwarts uniform.  
  
"They're here, Remus," she sighed. "Do you see Harry?"  
  
"No, but I think I see Hermione's hair," Lupin remarked. "That means that Harry and Ron cannot be far behind. Sure enough, Harry soon followed suit. As usual, Aurora got the same ache she always felt when she saw the strong resemblance between father and son. "Come, Aurora, it's time." Together, they walked down to catch Harry's attention. At the sight of his former professor, Harry smiled but as he spotted Aurora, a look of worry crossed his face.  
  
"Professor, I mean Remus, what are you doing here? Aurora, is something wrong? Is Si-I mean Snuffles okay?" Harry questioned them without taking a pause.  
  
"Relax, Harry," she told the boy. "Everything is fine. I just need to talk to you." Harry looked more confused than ever.  
  
"Well, I shall leave you two alone to chat," Remus said nonchalantly. "Perhaps we can all get together for a butterbeer before you leave, Harry." Harry nodded, still not sure what was going on. As Remus walked away, Aurora turned to face Harry.  
  
"Let's take a short walk, shall we?" she asked.  
  
"That's fine," Harry replied. "So how is everything at the headquarters?"  
  
"Everything is going just fine," Aurora answered him as they made small talk.  
  
"Are you better?" he asked. Aurora felt touched that he would care and she smiled at him and nodded to him. "How's Snuffles?"  
  
"Testy as usual," she said. "You know how dogs get when they have been cooped up too long." Harry laughed at her comment and she relaxed a little. "Harry, there is something I need to tell you. I don't know any easy way of explaining this." Harry looked up at her and they stopped walking. "You know that Sirius is your godfather. He was James's choice automatically, of course. The moment Lily found out she was pregnant, James pegged Sirius to be your godfather. They were like brothers."  
  
"I guess my mum didn't think Sirius could handle the responsibility," Harry remarked. "I would have thought that she would have pushed for Remus."  
  
"I think she knew that it was Sirius's spot and she realized that she could not change that," Aurora told him. "But Lily did do her very best to balance the choice." Aurora saw the confusion in his eyes. He had no clue where this was leading; he was definitely more James that Lily. "Your mum made a choice also, Harry."  
  
"My mum picked another godfather?" he asked.  
  
"No, a godmother," she told him. "I know no one ever told you. I only hope you don't become angry. There is so much explaining, Harry, so much."  
  
At first her words seem to confuse him even further until something finally clicked in Harry's mind. "It's you," he whispered. Her eyes teared up and she nodded.  
  
"Harry, I am so sorry," she told him as her voice broke. "I can't blame you if you hate me forever. "I already hate myself. I should have been there for you. I would like nothing more than to try to be a godmother to you, if you can see past my horrid mistakes." She wiped her eyes quickly and looked the young man before her in the eye. His face was blank and she saw no reaction from him.  
  
"I don't hate you, Aurora," he finally told her. "Just as I didn't hate Sirius. Nothing turned out as it should have and it's because of Voldemort. I don't hate you, I hate him. I would be honored to have you in my life, just as my mum and dad intended for you to be."  
  
She smiled at him and realized that Harry's eyes were a tad bit glassy also. Of course, no fifteen year-old boy wants someone to notice that they are crying, she reminded herself. She reached her arms out and Harry reached for her too. She hugged her godson with all the emotion inside of her. Silently, she thanked her stars that he had inherited his loyalty from James and his understanding from his mum. Aurora made a promise to the same heavens that she would do everything to be there for Harry for the rest of her life. 


End file.
